Looking through my library of well intended unread books that I purchase over many weeks, I was looking for my next piece of literature genius.

 I final stopped at a book, picked it, and with earnest this would be the one I will enjoy.  Since purchasing it 9 months ago at a conference I have passed by it countless time saying "not this time my dear friend".

Though this particular season of my life was screaming out to me, read me!, digest my words of encouragement and insight, my experiences and directions.

So I shall, so I shall

THE JOURNY OF DESIRE

There is a secret set within each of  our hearts.  Its often goes unnoticed, we rarely can put words to it, and yet it guides us throughout the days of our lives.  The secret remains hidden for the most part in our deepest selves.  It is the desire for life as it was meant to be.  Isn't there a life you have been searching for all of your days?  You may not be aware of your search, and there are times when you seem to have abandoned looking altogether.  But again and again it returns to us, this yearning that cries out for the life we prize.  Its elusive, to be sure.  It seems to come and go at will.  Season may pass until it surfaces again.  And though it seems to taunt us, and may at times cause us great pain, we know when it returns that it is priceless.  For if we could recover this desire, unearth it from beneath all other distractions, and embrace it as our deepest treasure, we would discover the secret of our existences. -John Eldredge-    

Somewhere in the forward I was expecting to read" written for the direction and encouragement of my dearest and closest friend Frank who I know will benefit greatly by the words I have fitted and designed for him and him only."

A period of Gray

Hibernation comes slowly, but without fail it appears  

rapped in a comforter of complacency 

nestling into the bed of mediocrity I found myself

slipping deeper into a long hibernation.      

memories

~Memories

Good bad or indifferent our memories seem to have this unshakable ability to hold us captive.

They sink well into the deep recesses of our mind not unlike the mainframe of your computer and neatly and methodically like a google search engine will show on command. 

Punch in one word and a litany of options start running across the screen, think one thought and bingo, there it is, a memory from your past only to show up to either place a song in your soul or to create a moment of searing pain not unlike the unthinkable though of eating Brussels sprouts.

As I am writing my wife Laura is watching television in another room, in the zone and incapsulated by my writing really not paying much attention suddenly I am in-tuned to a classic of classic movies, Yankee Doodle Dandy and just at that very moment

 George Cohan starts singing "Over There" well immediately my google search engine floods its massive resources and finds located in its memory banks, 2004 history class, period III,  RBC, one of my students singing that very song for a project, I found myself grinning, and singing along picturing in my mind this young lady in front of the class music playing and her singing!  wow that was a glorious time in my life. Great memories.

There is this episode of Seinfeld, I do seem to enjoy this show so very much,well there is  

EPISODE 141 of season 8 where Elaine one of the main characters.  The scene has Elaine  and her than boyfriend Brett sitting in the car, they are talking with the radio on in the back round just for comfort and the song Desperado comes on. Well at that very moment Brett chastises Elaine for talking as his mind locks onto the melody gazing out of the front windshield he becomes lost in deep though and obvious memories begin to flood him like a heavy monsoon rain storm quickly rolling across the Arizonan landscape.  Clearly this song had a profound place in his past.    

 Not unlike Brett I spend an absorbent amount of time glaring into the rearview mirror of my life evaluating and dissecting my limited time on this planet desperately hoping to see where I could have possibly have taken the so called wrong turn, when did the road get so bumpy, where did that pot hole come from, I never saw it coming and for pete sakes not another detour.       

Michel de Montaigne so elegantly declared "My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened."  Clearly a testament to our own reality. There is a saying that goes they make the windshield of  on car bigger than the rear view mirror for a reason.

Memories can either condemn us to a life of bitter sorrow playing like a broken record over and over again the "If I only" you know the one I am talking about if I only made more money, if I only had a bigger home, if I only was twenty pounds lighter, if I only blah blah blah. Memories if we let them can be the catalyst to reignite a passion, dream or a desire. 

The very idea that God has planted these thoughts into our mind to help designate the necessary change and direction in our life must be held as an viable option.  As one pays attention to ever detail of our live and each breath and circumstance that meet our existences we as William Barry wrote "must school ourselves to pay attention to our experience of life in order to discern the touch of God". Than if that is really the case there are no bad or good memories just God trying to get our attention.         

e

  

 

simply said

This is my very first Blog and as I sit and write, my mind is wringing  with anticipation.  What do I write about? and what can I possible have to say? 

I have decided to use this medium as an opportunity to express my desires, ambitions, goals, objectives, and dream, not necessarily for the consumption of the global reader but for my own sense of peace and satisfaction.  Satisfaction in the contemplation that finally through the act of being highly disciplined I will show myself, that yes I have the ability to  cohesively express emotions onto a sheet of paper.  Sorry old school, I mean blog.

Grace and Peace